I'd like to make an announcement of sorts.
You can call me fidgety & uncomfortable if you must, just don't leave me wordless before the night is over.
My memory is fading, at least parts of it I know because things aren't these intense and vivid images anymore, they're muting themselves and blurring their edges.
I've moved, to an area we like to call cotton fields, cops, and colorless culture.
I had my craving for the one mix CD with the two Tylenol with 500 mg tightly closed into the binding.
I'm starting to get an idea for a new script to start.
Is this thing on?
This is how you make a fishy face.
Now, every time I burp, it tastes like bubble gum.
So I hope these billions of knives are out of my throat by tomorrow.
Anyone need a roommate?
The sweet sensitive kind, that is.
And I love dancing in living rooms.
Happiness is Jawbreaker, sweet tea, & photos of boys kissing.
Summer is trips to the gas station on the corner.
It tastes like the time in March when we all got drunk and went for an explanation as to how this all reached it's pivot..
I just wish that everything was black and white, and I really wish that all these outside things and rare, fleeting moments of wishing I could do anything with anyone would just go away.
Last night was fun when it was still standing over Sunoco's sucker selection for upwards of 15 minutes, when it was still playing Frisbee and Jim Beam mixed in Shasta, and copious amounts of marijuana.
I can't leave my hair alone.
It's like nine days in the making, and it itches like nobody's business.
But, when I have a tshirt and jeans on, lock up your wives, the juices are flowing.
I bought those ridiculous 80's grandma sunglasses, and I wear them on a daily basis.
Not that this is absolutely imperative to my existence, but it sure is up there in the recreational department.
It probably looks like I have a pair of black eyes.
It's so hot I don't want to think.
I don't usually care about being tan, but it looks nice, and people don't seem to ask me if I'm still sick if I'm not as pale.
Fitting the hips properly is the main concern.
Saturday I race.
I'm beginning to think I am the only person with my body shape.
I should sew some parts, but I'm leaving it the way it is.
Oh little boys, little boys!
Everyone's pretty upbeat.
They're a couple of hot potatas, and I love them for it.
I will see you in another month.
Too bad he'll end up doing most of the cooking because I don't even know how to start a fire.
I see signs of strain already on our relationship.
He's mad at me because I don't want him back.
(Hey, he asked for it.)
I know that I'm not attracted to him like that and I wouldn't want to be with him.
It's so much nicer looking back on anger since resolved, than it is to actually be angry.
Last night I dreamt there was a word for you&I.
And we walked around the dark streets until the street lights burned out and we couldn't breath.
I can't believe I have a crush.
Before my feet even hit the floor I took some Ativan to ward off the anxiety before it even happened.
I thought for a minute I wanted a career change, but then I realized that this is probably a once in a lifetime thing and it would be best to just get a scanner and go from there.
A good time was had and a masterpiece created.
Star covered sky.
No clouds in the sky the whole time we were there.
Sometimes things are only impressive when you are standing next to them.
It looked kind of small from the outside, but once we got inside, it really opened up.
Hey, how about you mind your own vagina.
They limit themselves into liking a certain style and that keeps them from exploring or leaving out completely different worlds.
I am so tired of being up all night every night.
This lack of distraction is disappointing.
I don't have anything to say that's worth listening to.
I just find it difficult to be optimistic about anything momentarily.
I've decided that I just need to get on the fucking bus out of here now or else I'll be sitting here until this time next year.
& I can't take the fact that I'm so far from the person I love, yet not really that far at all.
I've drowned into my own closet.
The ones you knew would eventually drift away.
To say I felt suicidal would be an understatement.
Some change is so effortless.
So have another drink and drive yourself home, I hope there's ice on all the roads and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt and again when your head goes through the windshield.
Thank you for making my day not so bad after all.
Becky is magnificent.
Working on disappearing completely.
Becky is so fucking brilliant.
I don't really have anything to say now goodbye.
But I'll let you read lyrics that make my journal completely profound.
The universe is about to go through a blackout.
I could have lasted forever.